Clearly, I picked the wrong job.

What was I thinking, becoming a travel blogger when fear of flying is one of the things that scares me most? Mind you, I am scared of pretty much everything—heights, speed, the dark, creepy crawlies, clowns, fish, birds, you name it—but flying is firmly in my top three. Even after dozens of flights, I still get nervous. My hands get sweaty at every takeoff and landing, and my heart rate spikes at the slightest shift in engine sound.

Yeah. It sucks.

But over time, I’ve realized that overcoming a fear of flying is a slow, frustrating, and difficult process. It requires strength, rationality, and determination—three things I don’t normally have in spades. If you’re struggling with aerophobia, here is how I manage to keep traveling anyway.

Why are people afraid of flying?

While it may seem like a silly question (it’s terrifying to glide 30,000 feet up in a giant metal cage, dude!), the triggers for a fear of flying change depending on the person and comes in many different ways.

Perception vs. fact: In Dan Gardner’s book Risk: The Science and Politics of Fear, he highlights the gap between statistical fact and human perception. We know planes are “gazillions” of times safer than cars, but our brains often pick “gut feeling” over reasoning. And this is pretty much what fear and phobias are about: when our brain picks perceptions (gut) over facts (reasoning).
Loss of control: For many, it’s the fear of crashing due to mechanical failure or external threats.
Claustrophobia: For others, it’s being stuck in an enclosed space with no exit.

The only way to get over your fear is to identify what triggers you and slowly expose yourself to it. Avoidance only keeps the phobia alive. And that’s not really solving anything, now is it?

If boarding a plane makes you physically ill or induces a full-on panic attack, please consult a healthcare professional to see which treatments or medications might be right for you. I wouldn’t want you to stop travelling in order to avoid those bad moments ♥

How to deal with turbulence

Intuitively, it makes sense to be scared of turbulence. But the science says otherwise. According to AskThePilot.com, a plane cannot be “flung from the sky” by even the mightiest gust.

For all intents and purposes, a plane cannot be flipped upside-down, thrown into a tailspin, or otherwise flung from the sky by even the mightiest gust. Conditions might be annoying and uncomfortable, but the plane is not going to crash. From a pilot’s perspective it is ordinarily seen as a convenience issue, not a safety issue. Planes themselves are engineered to take a remarkable amount of punishment.

A few tips to help with turbulence:

Pick the right seat: The smoothest place to sit is over the wings, close to the plane’s centers of lift and gravity. The roughest spot is usually the far aft (the very back).
Watch the professionals: Whenever I get nervous, I look at the flight attendants. If they’re calm and pouring coffee, I know I’m safe. They are highly trained professionals who are taught to keep a straight face, and this helps me cope with my stress immensely.
Reality check: Ask yourself: Have we actually lost altitude? Are the engines making a different sound? Is anyone else actually stressed? Is there any evidence suggesting that something might be wrong besides my own perceptions? Usually, the answer is no.

How to deal with air sickness

Speaking from experience, few things are less enjoyable than being sick on a plane. It’s not fun for anyone involved! If your fear of flying manifests as nausea, try these tips:

Locate the bag: Ensure there is an airsickness bag in your seat pocket. Just knowing it’s there lowers my anxiety.
Stabilize your senses: If the air is rough, look straight ahead at the horizon and lay your hands on a flat, cold surface like the tray table. This helps “re-sync” your inner ear.
Watch your diet: Avoid heavy carbs or rich foods before the flight, but don’t fly on an empty stomach either.
Medication: Over-the-counter options like Dramamine or Gravol work wonders. The added bonus? They cause drowsiness, which is a blessing for nervous flyers.
Inform the crew: Don’t hesitate to share that you are prone to airsickness. They will pay closer attention to you, and if you, unfortunately, end up being sick, they will most likely give you a small amenity kit to freshen up.
Use the air vent: Direct the fresh air flow directly toward your face.

How to deal with takeoff and landing

As a nervous flyer, I can officially say that takeoff and landing are the WORST. Statistics show that most incidents occur during the first and last 20 minutes of a flight. While that makes the middle part easy, it makes my nerves go through the roof during the “critical phases.” To handle the sweaty hands and the “impending doom” feeling, you need a distraction. You can do this!

Play soothing or happy music in your noise-canceling headphones
Practice diaphragmatic breathing to keep your heart rate down
Use visualization techniques to think of the beach, the pasta, or the hotel bed waiting for you
Focus on the destination
Ask your companion to talk to you about something specific that requires your concentration or to quiz you on your favorite topic
Hell, bring along a good luck charm if that makes you feel better. These trinkets often feel silly to adults but whatever makes you forget about the stressful situation you’re in is worth it in my book.

What if you just can’t chill the fuck out

If you are still feeling unwell hours into your flight, remember: it’s probably not a fear of the plane, but a “fear of fear” itself.

The best way to combat this is to learn how airplanes actually fly. Once you understand the physics that keep a 300,000-pound object airborne (spoiler: it’s not black magic), you’ll recognize sounds and sensations as normal mechanical processes rather than signs of danger. Replacing mystery with logic leaves no room for “what-ifs.”

Your fear of flying doesn’t have to ground you. It’s a mountain to climb, sure, but the view from the top—and the destination on the other side—is worth it.

Additional resources for nervous flyers

Books: Cockpit Confidential by Patrick Smith or SOAR: The Breakthrough Treatment for Fear of Flying.
The SOAR App: This app provides a G-force meter and explains exactly what is happening during each phase of flight.
Aviation courses: Many airlines (like British Airways or Virgin) offer “Flying without Fear” seminars that include a test flight with a pilot explaining every noise.